


lost and led only by the stars

by astronauts



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 15:43:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4527822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astronauts/pseuds/astronauts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>post 2x20 — carmilla and mattie hide in the trap door under the apartment</p>
            </blockquote>





	lost and led only by the stars

**Author's Note:**

> title from humans — of monsters and men
> 
> i saw a post about the trap door thing and it took me like ten seconds to realise it sounds awfully similar to a coffin so.

 

You're still half intoxicated when Perry brings in the news that the stormtroopers were coming in. Mattie immediately runs to your side and you lift your head weakly, the gap in your chest still burning. She's looking at you the way she looked at you a couple decades ago, when you're newly turned and barely capable. You feel a pang in your heart — or lack thereof, when you realise the two of you couldn't run, because of you. 

 

Laura pushes herself off the chair and her eyebrows knit together in frustration. Perry worries herself with finding spaces in the empty cupboards and under beds when your eye catches the small — almost unnoticeable ridge amongst the floorboards. You remember the time Lafontaine had stomped their foot excitedly against it, the hollow sounds resonating back to them, and you point at the floor.

 

Laura understands before Mattie does and you can almost hear the skipped beat her heart takes. She shakes her head, no. “There must be another way—” She's pacing the floors and you struggle to pull yourself up. 

 

“There is no other way, cupcake.” Your tone was forceful and full of resentment and you bite back a wince, partially because of the pain running through your veins and partially because of the look Laura’s giving you. Your expression softens when Laura’s face falls and she hangs her arms limp beside her. You can see the cogs turning in her head and you take a step forward, Mattie beside you for support. “I’ll be okay.” You swallow and lock eyes with Laura. 

 

The circumstances didn't leave you with much choice when the echoing sounds of stomping boots travel through the shaking grounds and into the large apartment. Mattie yanks the loose floorboard up and you back away a tiny step at the confined space that greets you. Laura’s by your side, a respectable half foot away, as she reaches out, as if she were going to touch you. But she withdraws her arm and you shut your eyes, breathing in through your clenched teeth when Mattie lowers herself into the darkness first. 

 

“Are you sure?” Laura’s voice trembled and you didn't dare look at her. Instead, you step forward slowly and you sit yourself on the ground, dangling your legs from the small hole barely enough to fit one. Mattie taps at your ankle to assure you and you nod, more to yourself than anyone else. You slide into the trap door ungracefully and Laura hesitantly slides the floorboard close. She leaves a tiny fraction of it open but you nudge Mattie and she shuts it tight, you're not risking your sister’s or your life.

 

The darkness engulfs you immediately and your throat closes in on itself. You didn't need air, but you felt as if you were suffocating. Your hands reach up to claw desperately at your throat and you feel thin fingers wrap around your wrists, coaxing them down your neck and you struggle. You feel your pupils dilate and you drink in the darkness before you, the familiar sight of nothing greets you and you try to push yourself up. A loud thud echoes through your ears and you growl at the back of your throat, you stretch out and hit blindly again, this time, Mattie catches your fist and you almost let loose a scream. 

 

You're gasping for air and your ears are ringing and then you feel the blood, the stale blood drowning you, the only thing keeping you alive while simultaneously killing you and you whimper. Your chest hurts and you realise that you're crying. Your sobs get trapped in your constricted windpipe so you claw at anything you can reach. Someone tries to pull you into their embrace but you yank yourself away, your shoulder slamming against one wall and you yelp at the jolt of pain spreading through your body.“Please —” You hear the strain in your voice as you beg to no one in particular.

 

You're about to pass out when you hear her.

 

“Carm —” her voice was apprehensive at first, and you hear the scraping of furniture above you. “Carmilla.” She speaks again, her voice muffled by the two inch of wood between them, but you hear her, loud and clear as her voice rings out in your head. 

 

“Laura,” you whisper and you're desperate, so desperate to find something to hold onto, something you're familiar with, so you cling onto her voice. 

 

“Carmilla,” you reach up and press your palm flat against the surface of the roof. “Listen to my heartbeat.”

 

You shut your eyes tight and you rock yourself back and forth, you feel Mattie’s hand against your elbow and you inhale, and then you hear it, the erratic thumping of her heart above. _One, two, one two._ You force other sounds out and you focus on the sound, the irregular beating slowing down into something more rhythmic, and you start breathing.

 

“You're okay.” Laura assures and she's interrupted by a loud slam of the main apartment door. You hear vague shouting and judging by the way Mattie’s fingers tighten around your arm, you're certain they're here, the stormtroopers.

 

You hear Laura first, and then you hear Lafontaine, and you refocus back to the steady rhythm of her heart again. Your eyes are closed and you let your head loll back against the hardwood. A million stars explode behind your eyelids and etch themselves there, and mixed somewhere along that galaxy is Laura’s soft features and she clouds your mind. An image of your old dormitory floats into your mind and you cling onto it, you picture Laura in your bed, you smell her shampoo, the one you always complain about being too sweet. You take in the mix of lavender and peach and you lose yourself in it, in her scent, in the steady pumping of her heart and in the regular puffs of air she releases.

 

You can hear her voice above you and you pick up the change in tone, her voice was higher by half an octave, like it always does when she's lying and your lips twitch, because if anyone knew her well enough, she was the worst liar you've ever known, her nose wrinkles and she never makes direct eye contact, but you pray with every fibre in your body that her lying works.

 

You wait for what seems like months before the wood above you creaks and tiny fingers curl in the small gap to lift the wood. You scramble up to help her push the floorboards up and you pull yourself up, wheezing at the exertion. You curl up on the ground and you gasp in lungfuls of fresh air around you. 

 

“Hey,” Laura kneels beside you and her hand reaches out but reclines again and she watches you.

 

“You’re cute when you're worried.” You comment offhandedly before pushing yourself up. Her features relax finally and she cracks a small, albeit tired smile. 

 

Mattie excuses herself to the kitchen to grab herself blood and leaves you two alone after Lafontaine leaves with JP. You stumble backwards into your couch and collapse into it, a loud huff escaping your parted lips. Laura shuffles her feet around and you hear her breath shutter.

 

“Do you maybe want to sleep in the room tonight?” She clasps her fingers together, then quickly adds, “I mean, in case the stormtroopers come back. I’ll keep watch on the couch.”

 

You raise your eyebrow at her and your lips twitch at the way she pulls her bottom lip into her teeth. You consider and you weigh the pros and cons and you stand up, shuffling over to Laura and you poke at her arm gently. She jumps back an inch and you give her an amused smile. You haven't touched her in days and that mere contact burned you inside out. 

 

You wrap one arm around your torso and you tug at Laura’s shirt with the other, pulling her into the room with you. She stumbles behind you and you can feel the questions on the tip of her tongue, struggling to get past her tightly clenched teeth. You turn around and you let go of the fabric, watching it flap back against her skin and you shake your head.

 

“I don’t want to be alone right now.” You whisper with as much courage as you have left because you hate feeling like this, like you need to rely on someone, but Laura tilts her head at you and nods, nudging you towards the bed and dumping herself on the chair next to you. You look at her and she stares back, an eyebrow arched, so you lie down on the soft comforter on the bed and you pull the covers over yourself, turning so your back faces Laura. 

 

You lie like that for a while, until you hear her breathing almost even out. Your eyes burn as you stare into the emptiness of the room. Laura had left the side lamp on for you. You turn around and she jolts awake, her fingers twisting against the sheets and she leans forward.

 

“Do you need blood?” She asks, dropping to her elbows and leaning her cheeks against her palms. Her eyes blink rapidly as she squints at the lamp. You shake your head and lick your lips, making a split second decision before wrapping your fingers around her wrist and tugging softly. She looks at you and her eyes flash with uncertainty, but you tug again and she crawls into bed and you lift the blanket for her. She rolls onto her back and you do the same, both of you spread out on the queen sized bed but neither touching the other.

 

It takes her ten minutes to realise you're still not asleep when she murmurs a soft, “Carm?” You hum back a response and she shifts closer to you, an arm floating above your midriff as she rolls onto her side. You raise your hand to pull her arm down and she takes a sharp intake of breath. “Is this okay?” She asks and you nod, bumping heads with her. She heaves a silent breath of relief and lightly presses her thigh against your own. 

 

Laura’s breathing evens out a few minutes later, and you shut your eyes finally. Your lips part and your tongue pokes out to swipe at your chapped lips and you whisper a small, “thank you,” into the silence. 

 

You almost drift off into sleep when Laura’s arm tightens around your stomach and she nods, a silent acknowledgement.

 


End file.
